For the Sake of Adaptation
by Emi-Ly Sway
Summary: Soda is stubborn about this, but Darry is not the type to give up. (In which Sodapop's decision to drop out goes a lot less smoothly than Pony will ever know). Rated T because I rate everything T just in case.


_There's nothing but fics about Pony and OCs on this site. I wanted some brotherly Darry/Soda, so I made some. I am very sorry for not having a beta and if anyone's willing to take the job please PM me. English is not my first language, but I tried really hard to avoid mistakes. Please signal me any error you find._

_Disclaimer: I am not S.E Hinston and I don't own any right whatsoever to the outsiders._

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By the time he arrives home, Darry wishes for nothing more than a shower and a bed. It's been a long fucking day – hotter than usual, which made it all the more draining. He leans against the door to toe off his dirty boots as Soda greets him from the kitchen. Unwilling to muster the energy for a coherent reply, Darry only grunts in response. He heads straight for the shower, hoping that the cool water will render him human enough to have a nice meal with his brothers. _Where's Pony_? He'll ask after the shower.

A sigh of pure contentment escapes his lips as the spray hits his face and chest. He can actually feel the layers of dust and dirt being washed away from his skin. He sets the temperature of the water a bit higher because now that he has cooled down some, he is aware of every aching muscle in his body and he knows that hot water always helps his back loosen up a bit. He feels like staying right there until the end of his life, but he can already feel the unpaid electricity bills glaring at him from the cupboard where he hid them. Today had been a hard damn day, but tomorrow would be too. Regretfully, he turns off the water.

He arrives in the kitchen with perfect timing, because Soda is serving two bowls of blue macaroni he has just finished cooking. Darry smiles at him gratefully as he sits down.

- Where's Pony? He asks.

- Gone for burgers with Curly, Soda answers lightly.

Darry frowns a little because he doesn't like Pony hanging around the Shepards too much and Soda rolls his eyes a little because Curly really isn't that bad of a kid. Darry digs in as soon as he has a fork and a plate. Mac'n cheese, blue or not, is truly the seventh heaven when you're as hungry as he is now. After fetching a glass of milk for each of them, Soda settles in his seat to imitate him. The eldest Curtis has downed half his meal in a record time and he actually has to take a break only to masticate and breathe. That's how he realises that his brother is toying with his food without actually eating it. He looks like he's itching for a cigarette, so Darry immediately knows something's wrong. There's rarely anything wrong with Soda, so when it happens, Darry thinks he better pay attention to it.

- What's wrong lil' buddy? He asks almost intelligibly around a mouthful of macaroni.

He swallows with a guilty thought for his mother and table manners before speaking again.

- You look out of it.

The smile Soda flashes him is a feeble attempt at his usual grin and ends up being somewhat apologetic.

- Just thinkin'.

- About what?

The younger boy bites his bottom lip before licking it nervously and giving up all pretenses of eating to look his brother squarely in the eye.

- Johnson said he could give me more hours this year.

Darry sighs. He doesn't really want Soda to work more than he already does while going to school. On the other hand, CPS had made it clear that their financial situation better improve soon.

- Yeah, ok, he agrees tiredly.

- He said he could give me twenty-two more.

The words have Darry stop eating. The tone has his eyes hardening.

- He could, if you didn't have to go to school, he says with a deliberate, so obviously forced calm.

- Exactly.

The look in Soda's eyes is not one Darry sees often. He doesn't like it.

- So you politely declined and stuck to what you're doing now, he states, because there's no other option.

- I agreed, Darry.

Darry's "Why the heck would you do that" is drowned out by Soda's "I'm dropping out".

- You are fucking not.

Maybe Darry should be more diplomatic about this, but he's too exhausted to deal with this bullshit. He doesn't have the energy to put a lid on the frustration he feels rising in his chest, red hot and engulfing. He doesn't have the patience to talk it out. Not when the money is so freaking tight, the CPS is on his back and Pony keeps having nightmares and picking fights with him. He's dealing with too much already and he's coming short on hands to handle yet another problem. The death glare he's shooting his brother would send anyone cowering out with their tail between their legs, but he sees the familiar streak of stubbornness clear as day in the grey eyes that meet it.

- It's already done, Soda says simply.

Well, stubbornness is kind of a family trait and every muscle in Darry's body visibly tenses with contained anger.

- Then you call them and take it all back, he hears himself say. This is not up for discussion Sodapop!

Soda emits a slight resigned sigh and Darry hopes against everything he knows about his brother that it is resigned as in "I'll do what you want me to do" and not resigned as in "I don't want to fight but I know we will".

Of course, he's wrong.

- Just listen to me Dar', you know you…

- I said No!

Darry is only half surprised to hear himself properly yell.

- Just admit it Darry, you need help, Soda continues as if he hasn't heard. You can hide it from Pony, but don't think I haven't seen the bills and we need to keep CPS off our backs.

_- I'm handling it_.

Darry didn't mean for his reply to come out in a growl but it does. His whole posture is a big red "Keep out" sign flashing at Soda. The latter suddenly gets up and with two long strides he's yanking the damn cupboard open. Bills and notices fly out like some sort of failed confetti shower.

Darry is on his feet before he realises it.

- You can't do it alone! Soda insists. Face it Darry! You need me!

I said I'm handling it!

Darry's fist hits the table beside him, hard enough to make plates and forks bounce.

- You're not using your head. So we're in a rough spot all right, but you dropping out is you being in a rough spot the rest of your life! This is why 15 year olds can't take these decisions. I'M your legal guardian and I said _no_.

- I'm sixtee-

- YOU'RE A FUCKING KID.

Soda's jaw clenches. He hasn't been treated like a kid for a while now. Darry takes a step toward him. He's exuding all the authority that he's capable of – which is a quite impressive amount. He doesn't often take that stance with Soda. In fact, the middle Curtis brother doesn't think he's ever been at the full receiving end of that attitude. Of course, Darry makes it clear that he is the oldest –the head of the family, but while he's always controlling Pony, Soda's usually trusted to take care of his own business. Or maybe, since they're both so focused on keeping their baby brother safe and sane, Darry can't afford to make another issue out of his almost fully-raised brother. Either way, Soda doesn't feel like a kid. Frustration explodes in his tone when he tries to steer the argument toward a more navigable path.

- I'm not you Darry! And I'm not Pony. I'm failing my classes and we all know that I have zero chances of getting to college. You can't make me smarter by willing it.

- You're just not trying hard enough, Darry accuses, shaking his head. I've been cutting you too much loose since they died, but if I have to lock your in room to make you study, trust me I will!

Soda's lips tighten under the accusation, but the threat makes him exhale and turn away out of pure exasperation. Darry doesn't take kindly to it and swiftly grabs his brother's shirt to yank him back.

- Have you already forgotten what mom and dad taught us? He asks coldly. Education is important.

Shifting his grip to get a better hold, he drags the boy to the old phone they have fixed on the chunk of wall marking the separation between the kitchen and the living room.

- Now you call them back, say you're sorry and that you'll be in class when it starts.

He hands him the phone and steps back ever so slightly. Soda doesn't move and they just stare at each other for a couple of seconds. Something in Soda's eyes always seems to calm Darry a bit. He's almost composed when he dials the school number that he knows by heart in Soda's place.

It rings once. Soda puts it determinately back on the receiver.

All composure's gone and for a second, it seems that Darry is going to punch his brother's lights out, but he turns away at the last second. Soda almost wants to back down right then, because Darry is so clearly at the end of his rope.

Darry has given up everything so his brothers could have it. He's running himself ragged day and night, just trying to hold them together and Soda's dropping out would mean he is failing at it. Haven't they sacrificed enough, already?

- Why are you being so fucking dense, he says tightly, after a moment of silence.

Soda bites his bottom lip, still staring at his brother's back.

- I know this is important for you Dar'. But we have to be rational about this. Pony's a smart kid. He'll make it to college and do somethin' out of himself. But we have to get him there. You can't keep doing so much overtime. Me in school is not going to do us any good; I have the DX…

Darry turns around abruptly.

- I won't have you turning into a failure who will be working at a fucking gas station for the rest of his life! A shame to mom and dad!

His fist has entwined itself in Soda's shirt on its own accord. A rough shake doesn't deter his brother from almost yelling his answer.

- Is that what you consider yourself to be? A shame? A failure?

What happens next is kind of a blur for both brothers. What Darry will remember with frightening clarity is his brother's head hitting the wall, catching the corner with too much force, and his own hands clutching the fabric of his shirt. He will remember the blond head falling limply forward and realising that his grip is the only thing keeping Soda from crashing to the ground.

Soda doesn't lose consciousness exactly, but it takes a while before he automatically grips one of the arms that are still holding him to try to get some balance back.

- Fuck! Fuck I'm sorry I'm sorry are you okay Soda please come on you okay? I didn't mean…

Darry is apologetic and panicky and his frantic attempts to check Soda up are not helping. Soda has yet to figure out where his feet are and how is mouth works so he can tell Darry to stop shaking him. He somehow manages to convey something that has Darry helping him to sit and prop him against the wall. He finally sort of focuses on the worried features of his sibling.

- I'm a'right, he mumbles unconvincingly.

Guilt starts to make a horrible appearance on Darry's face.

- It's okay, I'm all right, Soda tries again a little more forcefully.

Surprisingly, Darry manages to be gentle when he tilts Soda's head forward to see the back of his head. There's blood amidst the blond strands. It's not much, but the sight of the dark red liquid has Darry pale. He gets up and within instants he's back with a wet cloth. He looks critically at Soda's dazed gaze.

- How many fingers? He asks, waving three fingers in front of the injured boy.

- Darry, I'm fine.

- So how many?

- Three.

Again, Darry tilts Soda's head forward, this time to clean the small wound. He's trying to be gentle; Soda can tell, but Darry being Darry, he has a limited amount of success. When he finishes, Soda's eyes are shut. A jolt of fear runs through him.

- Hey! Not the time to catch your Z's!

Soda's eyes open right away.

- I'm not.

Darry wants to ask for Soda to say the date and the name of the president, more paranoid than usual because what if he caused lasting damages to his own brother, but he is cut off before he can say a word.

- I'm fine Darry. I'm not concussed. It's just a little knock on the head, I've had worse.

- You're sure?

It's precisely the same "you're sure?" he uses when Pony says he finished all his homework earlier.

- Yes, Soda answers, letting a bit of annoyance flair in his tone.

He half-wants to get up because he thinks he must look like a ragdoll hanging limply against the wall but he also half-wants to stay there because he sorta feels like a ragdoll too. However, one look at Darry's face has him using the wall to get to his feet. The world goes for a spin as soon as he does so. It doesn't necessarily mean he's concussed. He thinks he's successful at looking sort of normal until Darry offers support and speaks.

- I can take you to the hospital if you need…

They almost never go to hospitals and Darry is totally overreacting.

- Will you cool it? I'm fine Dar', he says again, I'll just crash a bit on the couch until the headache goes away and it will be like nothing happened okay?

He swallows saliva that rises in his throat and walks on his own to the couch. Darry follows but doesn't try to help him and doesn't talk of hospitals again so Soda's pretty sure he did a decent job of looking steady. He swallows again. He won't puke. He's not concussed.

A few moments later, Darry has dimed the lights and brought him Tylenols with a glass of water. Soda thanks him, eagerly downing the medication. He sets the water on the table and lies down. His eyes are soon half-closed but he can see Darry's agitated form rubbing his face with both hands.

- I'm sorry.

- I'm not mad Dar', Soda assures him. I know you didn't mean to. I was more angry that you won't listen to me.

Darry approaches and sits on the floor so he can rest a hand on top of his brother's head. He swallows audibly.

- I just want you to think about your future.

- I am. If I stay in school, the future is not me having a career, Darry. It's you being completely spent and ill of trying to take care of everything by yourself, me finishing high school but going nowhere and Pony not being able to get to college. And that's the best case scenario – the one when they don't just take us away.

Darry lets his head fall back until it's resting on the wall, his eyes falling shut as if it could block out the image of what Soda evoked.

- I have a good thing going at the DX. Cutting a couple of years of schooling out won't make me a miserable person.

Darry capitulates. He doesn't want this, but okay.

He still remembers this phrase from biology class " it is not the strongest who will survive, but the ones that are able to adapt".

He had adapted his plans of going to college to the death of their parents, turning them into plans for his brothers to get the life they deserved, but it's not working and they have to adapt again even if it feels a little more like giving up: Soda won't get his future either. ( Darry really really hopes Pony will make it. )

He kisses his brother's hair.

- Okay.

Almost two hours later, when Darry's cleaning the kitchen and Soda is watching the TV on mute after his quick nap, Ponyboy comes home. He's in such a good mood that he almost glows in the muted atmosphere of the house. His hair is ruffled from the wind and his cheeks are a little red. With no reason at all, Darry wants to yell at him and hug him at the same time. He settles for scrubbing the counter. The kid sits close to Soda and starts to babble about winning some race. He sounds happy and childish and like maybe this is all still worth it. Soda is grinning at the boy's rambling. So maybe they're adapting by sacrificing over and over again, but hey, they're still going. Pony slows down, so Darry has no trouble catching what he says next.

- Are you okay? Is that a bump? What happened?

Soda smiles some more and playfully pulls Pony to him. The younger boy happily cuddles into his side.

- I was playing ball with Steve. Ran a bit backwards to catch it and smashed my head on the wall… Don't laugh at me!

Pony giggles anyway.

Darry had never felt like such an asshole in his whole life.

* * *

_I realise I haven't chosen any particular POV for this story and that maybe the narration makes no real sense, but I think it works anyway? Please tell me what you think._


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